Can I please just vent a little? i know its a bit to read but it would be much appreciated if u did!?

Maybe you can ask your current instructor to recommend you to someone who would take you. Or you can google and send an e-mail to every barn in your area asking for a job. That's what I did. I got a butt load of "no's" and then only one yes, but it has been the best thing that's happened to me! :] Good luck, hope you find a nice barn!